A Mind Running in Circles

“Why are you speeding up beside me? I don’t want your lane. Dude! Are you serious? Did you really just cut me off that hard?”

This is one of a long list of driver-seat conversations with the commuters who’ve challenged my serenity while on the road.

As I harmonize with my favorite songs or daydream at the brush-stroked greens and browns of San Diego’s valleys, speed demons claw at my peace of mind.

Every time I enter the I-15, my chill will be challenged. I know this. And yet, every time, I unraveled by the selfish and haphazard driving behavior of strangers on the highway. I should be prepared to counter this distress, but when I encounter brutishness, a blend of disappointment and self-dignity raptures me.

I explode.

Profanity returns fire. Obscene gestures of what I think of them (at that moment) are shot into their car windows. And what was once a dreamy drive to work, is now a car ride under siege and filled with the flame of afflicted rage.

I lost again.

Some may take a look into my pattern of behavior and regard it as a long-beaten roundabout, bound to repeat itself in an endless cycle. But if I resist the temptation of anger longer and longer, wouldn't that progression defy the idea of a cycle over time?

A Metaphor for Your Thoughts

We love metaphors and analogies. Life is lived within them, especially music. When we discuss harmonies, we describe the combination of notes as a mixture of colors, which create meaningful textures. We’re taking an invisible, physical force and attributing visual representations to envision them more clearly.

When you think about it, this is somewhat synaesthetic, the blending of one or two of our five senses.

So, consider the nature of our troubled minds as though they were on a physical, dirt path in the wilderness. Much like how, in reality, our thoughts and emotions transit through neural pathways.

On this dirt path, we trek forward on our walk: We smell the pollen-filled breath of the trees, respiring as the lungs of the earth; the brush of a cool breeze strokes our hair behind our ears; the shouting of mechanical beasts echoes softer and softer until the deep respirations of nature cups our ears with its near silence and wild whispers.

Stick to the Path or Be Lost To It

Suddenly! You hear snarling from the bushes in front of you. Rabid eyes surround you from the once scenic pastures. Anger fills your heart, not fear. As the snarling encloses around you, they reveal themselves as wolves.

You have two options, but your primal instincts tell you to fight back with the rage in your heart. You yell and shout. You puff up your chest, running around to make yourself appear larger than you are, and let out the ferocity of your will against these beasts. Through it all, you’ve fended off the pack of wolves for at least another day.

But, as a consequence, you’ve allowed yourself to be warded off the right path. Now you must expend more time to find yourself back on that path. Victory fades to a realization that those wolves, who’ll always return to taunt us, have won. You’re lost, and they’ll never cease their chase after you.

So long as we continue to surrender to the hate that fills our hearts, we’ll gradually lose sight of the path until it is nothing more than a memory of what once was.

This is the reality of feeling like you’re roaming in circles to no end.

King David, the passionate poet

If you’ve grown up in a predominantly Christian or Jewish society, then surely you’ve heard the story of how David, the small shepherd boy, defeated Goliath, the Philistinian giant, with only a stone and sling.

But those who haven’t read Psalms won’t know that he was also a poet and a musician.

The Psalms, some of which were written by David even in times of anger and shame, are songs that he had composed to worship God. The emotions that he toiled over are utterly human and still so attributable to us now, as it was then, in this modern age.

The Spiraled Path that Leads to Rest

As I mentioned before, there were two options when facing off the wolves. The second option is as quoted by King David when he was being hunted by his “wolf,” Saul, the first king of Israel.

“He (Jehovah) lets me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still and quiet waters.

He refreshes and restores my soul (life);

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

— Psalms 23:2–3 (AMP)

Instead of fending off evils with his own will, he trusts in the shepherd to protect him and guide him. He conscientiously focuses on his shepherd to lead him, not folding under his anger and distress over his persecution.

Take a moment to appreciate what God’s depiction as a shepherd implicates.

Where do shepherds bring all their beloved flock? To the springs for a drink! 

And where did the shepherds often find these springs? Often, atop the mountain springs! 

The path mentioned here by David could easily be interpreted as one that wraps around a mountainside. If we were always to focus only on what lay before us, we would always fail to realize how as we overcome obstacles, we also climb higher — and the closer to rest we become. 

This rest is emotional as much as it is spiritual. It’s also a refuge from the intimidations of these beasts. When the wolves howl and bark, we must stay nearer to the shepherd for protection from these evil spirits. But who is the Shepherd? 

Please Follow the Tour Guide Closely

He is many things. However, for those who don’t identify with Jesus as their savior, at the very least, the revelation of His identity should offer you a clear value: Love.

God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides continually in him. 

—1 John 4:16 (AMP)

Cling to love for Love’s sake. Know that we’re formed to love others on this earth, especially those who are deemed to deserve it the least. These are the people who merit love the most. 

The failure of evil spirits to lure us into disputes with one another is a victory for love and a defeat for darkness and hatred.

If you wish to triumph over the true adversary, confide in peace. Flee from hate. 

Expect Turbulence While Approaching the Summit

We often revisit where we’ve been in life, but the path to it becomes shorter the closer we reach the top. This means that higher frequencies of infuriating occurrences should be met with praise since we’re nearing the “still and quiet waters.” 

Conisider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. 

Be assured that the testing of your faith produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity and inner peace]. 

—James 1:2–3 (AMP)

These are our trials as we scale our mountainsides. However, if we maintain faith in our efforts, and if we have hope in Love that leads us, we may soon cease to endure and instead find the rest that we seek. 

Consider the agony of birth. Only after an excruciating trial comes something that’s nothing short of a miracle: Life! 

Through pain is birthed life. Blessings often come through trials. 

The foresight of trials should be lovingly embraced as an eminent blessing to come once we've surmounted the incoming hardship. We gain endurance. And endurance perfects our wisdom, which is the gift that grants true inner peace.

For wisdom’s profit is better than the profit of silver; 

and her gain is better than fine gold. 

—Proverbs 3:14 (AMP)

These maleficent spirits intend for worse than to do us harm themselves, they desire that we’ll fall astray and harm ourselves, leaving us to be authors of our destruction. 

The wolves, however, may threaten us all they wish, but we may rest in our confidence that Love both repels and annihilates the illest spirits. 

Also, perhaps, try staying out of the fast lane when possible…

Musical Shepherds Author Paths of Either Peace or Anger for Their Followers

A music track is much like the paths we’ve discussed here. Within the context of music composition, we’re the authors who act as the shepherds of our listeners. We file our followers down our physical yet invisible streams of soundwaves. Our musical visions guide their senses—and often direct their lives.

What we expose ourselves to, we inevitably become. 

In our psychological storage, we draw from what we’ve consumed because these responses have become normal to us. So, minds desensitized and regularly exposed to violent music may most presumably opt for more violent responses to life’s troubles. Whereas those whose minds are often led to peaceful soundscapes may be more likely to opt for peaceable responses to life’s worries. 

My final thought here is for any musicians reading this article: Will your tracks lead your listeners to an oasis of peace, or will they obscure that path and lead them lost in the wilderness?